The Next Nottingham Forest Manager

It has been a frustrating and laborious wait for those supporters who saw a managerial switch as the only viable escape route this season.

In many respects it is almost as if the season began in August and finished abruptly in early October. Only now the inevitable has caught up can the challenge recommence.

The industrious opening and the scattering of improved players proved to be something of a red herring.

Early season naivety made way for ‘judge us after ten games’, and ten games became the waking nightmare of arriving every Saturday without enthusiasm or expectation.

By the middle of October I was fairly certain that Calderwood could be no more than a game or two from the axe. But it was this misguided certainty that spoiled any chances of enjoying the subsequent months.

As many football fans will admit, once you are entirely sure of your belief that a manager must be sacrificed it is almost impossible to enjoy football.

The excuses grow wearisome and the tactics unbearable; every defeat is consoled by fantasies of a morning announcement. Every victory is soured by the knowledge that your foe has secured his territory for another week.

People on both sides of the fence have the club’s interests at heart, but by this point the fence is something more like the Berlin Wall.

I vividly remember reading scattered remarks that Calderwood would one day be a top Premiership manager and must be retained. On each occasion I almost ate my fist to prevent it from going through the monitor.

Who knows, one day I may eat my words too. For now I am simply relieved that an era of mediocrity and frustration has come to an end.

Calderwood pandered to the airs and graces of the club’s supporters, and he spoke well of long term ambitions. As many of his militant supporters argued, he may well have been a nice man too.

Sadly nobody is nice enough to be worth a return to the dismal nether regions of the football league.

The case of who should replace him is tough. It is at these times that statistics become freely malleable and wild assumptions of character are made.

Modest figures who have barely made conversation in the past are sworn in as ‘disciplinarians’, and everybody other than Sam Allardyce ‘likes to have football played the right way’.

Today’s pulse-raising triumph at Carrow Road brought three vital points and evidence of a team’s bonding to cross choppy waters. John Pemberton, however, will not have chance to enter the public’s imagination as a new appointment is expected within days.

Ex-Derby boss Billy Davies remains the bookmakers’ beau. Stalwart Curbishley and battleaxe Dowie have been mentioned in passing, while fans have openly lusted over Martinez at Swansea and Johnson at Bristol.

And of course, like a puppy with a slipper Forest fans will never let go of Stuart Pearce or Nigel Clough. Fiery Roy Keane, ‘OBE’ with the rage but not the charisma, clings loosely to the same club.

One man who perhaps satisfies the lesser extremities of both the ‘legend’ and the ‘success story’ arguments is Brian Laws. Not too many would grumble at his appointment at the City Ground.

Whoever it is, they will have to be rather good.

The candidate will need thick skin, charm, ambition and a lot of common sense. He will be experienced, have signings in mind before his arrival and be prepared to accept a competitive but frugal salary.

Brian Clough circa 1975 would do nicely.

Christmas Comes Late - Calderwood's Eulogy

For several thousand people the sacking of a man at Christmas will be one of the best-received festive treats.

It is a touch macabre. But it might just save Forest’s season.

Like a lot of people I was very much looking forward to the Boxing Day football. A crisp, dry afternoon, a packed stadium and hopefully three very important points to compound the festive cheer.

What actually happened this afternoon will probably have shocked even the most ardent doomsayers.

A Forest side devoid of any shape or direction delivered one of the worst performances in living memory.

Today’s debacle will take a merited position on the dusty top shelf, alongside seedy packages like Coventry in 2005, Plymouth a week later, and Woking under Megson.

It is simply impossible to overstate how appalling it was. There was a quality of confusion and lethargy so overbearing that it turned people against their own team.

Forest were roundly booed off the pitch, and then venomously booed back on to it.

Literally hundreds left at half time, thousands more followed after goal number four.

I had a genuine feeling that a lot of the people remaining, certain in their desire to see Calderwood axed, were willing Doncaster to score more and make sure of his exit.

These are people that slap down hundreds of pounds a season and, in some cases, travel across the country to see Forest play. To conjure these sentiments in people so fanatical is a fitting example of how severe this afternoon was.

Robert Earnshaw diplomatically rescued his admission that the players didn’t know what they were doing today, but there was evidence enough in the performance.

The first half was played out with a petulance and a laziness that is almost beyond description.

Doncaster waltzed into a substantial lead and Forest served up nothing more than childish frustration; the sulky air of ill-fated complacency.

Calderwood’s head must have exploded at half-time because what happened next was frankly bizarre, even by his standards.

I have never been so convinced that the team had no formation whatsoever. Literally no instructions.

It was a mess – players running in packs like boys around a schoolyard; little Arron Davies hiding behind the dinner lady.

That we scored two goals is testament to Doncaster’s incredible relaxation. No doubt their training sessions are harder.

For Calderwood to speak of the ‘comeback’ as encouraging and to play the ten man card at the top of his interview is a fitting example of his desperation.

I am not sorry to see him go, in fact I am enthused almost to the point of forgetting the preceding horror show.

This is a triumphant goodbye to right wingers on the left and left wingers on the right, to imaginary formations, to lumbering centre forwards in impossible roles on the wing, to the irksome post-match soundbites in which words are drawled but literally no information is imparted…

This is a day I would have welcomed at any point over the last two and a half years.

An inoffensive character who did his best to pander to our airs and graces, but he was always a few steps behind what we were looking for.

Needless to say the next appointment is crucial – in no small way it will shape the entire future of the club.

When Hart was chopped the club was reportedly besieged with applications from across the globe.

Let us hope this will be the case once more, because it might just be the last chance for those replica European Cups to have any pulling power at all.

Ratings: Vs Doncaster [H]

Camp – 7 – I’m no body language expert, but I have a hunch that we won’t pay the million they want for him. And that he doesn’t really want us to.

Moloney – 7 – the man of the match; a plucky display in spite of the circumstances.

Wilson – 5 – a shaky start, and an injury.

Morgan – 7 – a one man band at times; he triggered thoughts of a captain plugging holes in a sinking ship at times.

Lynch – 3 – very poor, and not for the first time. I don’t see anything encouraging about him.

Cohen – 5 – the effort was there, but he was never likely to stop the rot. Distribution was poor.

Perch – 5 – sprawled somewhat at centre half after starting poorly in midfield.

McGugan – 5 – the biggest victim of the ever-changing system, which at one point appeared to include no midfield whatsoever. In the second half he might as well have sat and watched, in the first he had played some good balls.

Anderson – 3 – not interested at all. He’ll be an excellent player if and when our form picks up.

Garner – 6 – a frustrating performance to watch, plays too far apart with Earnshaw.

Earnshaw – 5 – needs goals, and so do we.

Substitutes:

Bennett – / - he was bound to be sent off or injured, we could lose him for five months now.

Davies – 3 – a graduate of the Gregor Robertson School of Uselessness.

Tyson – 6 – pace a threat as always.

The only way is down...

Five hundred words of fist-clenching fury hardly seem necessary in the wake of a performance so convincing. But oddly enough, a double dosage of doom is more appropriate now than ever.

For 90 minutes we puffed and panted and, in the most part, dominated against a very poor Blackpool side. And yet we still could not win.

Calderwood’s clarion cry for seven points from nine has ended with a familiar whimper.

We strained ourselves to overlook ‘not being promoted is failure’, we saw beyond ‘we’ll gun for the play-offs, and we craned our necks to see beyond ‘judge me after ten games’.

Now the man has embarrassed himself again with another crowd-pleasing soundbite that has proved to be entirely without substance.

Fortunately, the City Ground audience were so woefully poor in both their support and their numbers that we have avoided a weekly lavishing from football’s most spineless sycophant.

We came desperately close to victory at Coventry and deserved beyond all doubt to beat Blackpool. We were nearly good enough to register six from Colin’s nine, and that would have been nearly good enough to satisfy his demand for seven.

Nearly is a word that suits Calderwood well. Since day one he has nearly done his job, but never has his performance has never been quite satisfactory. This season we are not even worthy of ‘nearly good enough’.

Though peppered with passable Championship players, we are struggling to support the weight of the deadwood we are carrying. Calderwood has neither the sense nor the ruthlessness to reverse our fortunes.

Calderwood’s parade of soundbites and consistent patience for patience’s sake are dragging us into an irreversible crisis. The reaction of the crowd at the end of Saturday’s game is evidence enough that his number has been called – if he goes on much longer he will leave a laughing a stock; calamitous promotion long forgotten.

His quip on Southampton being a ‘must win game…for them’ is almost a hammer blow to free speech.

I would rather he didn’t speak to the press at all than revive his ill-fated mind games that have triggered nothing but resentment and self-detriment in the past.

I refuse to squander another day waiting foolishly for news, but if Calderwood isn’t chopped on Monday I will be thinking twice before travelling to any further away games under his tenure.

My belief in the necessity of his dismissal has reached a stage that even a win is sullied by the knowledge that it will prolong the agony.

Ratings: Vs Blackpool [H]

Camp – 7 – a solid enough performance, quick off his line and always alert to back-passes. His mobility around the box is a breath of fresh air and, with January coming, he must surely be signed.

Moloney – 7 – a number of good blocks and a crucial sliding challenge in the first half. Also worked hard to support the midfield in his strongest senior performance so far.

Wilson – 6.5 – a vast improvement on his recent haphazard displays, but the defence were rarely challenged.

Morgan – 7 – strong and confident; continues to be an unlikely source of composure on the ball and a trusted servant in defence.

Lynch – 6 – a slow start, but he was clearly injured.

Cohen – 7 – played several good through balls and provided the usual excellent work rate, despite being dumped confusingly on the right wing – again.

Perch – 6 – should have scored in the first half, otherwise a familiarly steady but largely pointless contribution.

Thornhill – 6.5 – likes to have the ball at his feet and works hard, but he lacks pace, strength and a genuine role in the team.

Anderson – 6.5 – a hot and cold performance; dangerous when running forwards in possession but sometimes went missing.

Garner – 7.5 – won the usual bucketload of cheap free kicks and caused a consistent headache for the Blackpool defence.

Tyson – 6.5 – his pace was as devastating as ever, but without the end product Tyson is increasingly looking out of his depth. Needs goals.

Subs

Bennett – 7 – good to have him back
Earnshaw – 6 – no real impact
Davies – 5 – the moment he lined up a shot and fell flat on his face having taken swing is fairly definitive. His continued use as a substitute is a sad indictment for our state of affairs, and his involvement as an international is a cataclysmic epitome of Welsh football.

I wonder why people stay to watch the Champions League in front of their fires...

This evening’s game was one of the most unpleasant and pointless affairs any of us are likely to witness.

Our visitors were not involved in a contest of any description. They were genially handed three points by a side devoid of any obvious qualities. It was a sham.

The crowd were subdued, it was bitingly cold, the football was literally not worth watching and we have whimpered away another home game.

Our system of performing reasonably for two games and then slumping into a familiar despondency has progressed beyond tedium – we are in grave danger.

As things stand we are within spitting distance of a safe position, but this is precisely why we now is the time for change.

When we perform well we look like a reasonable Championship side struggling to hold our heads above water. When we play badly we are hysterically useless.

Our ineptness is evident in every throw-in to static recipients, every corner that rebounds against the first defender, every squandered free kick, and every swirling high ball to our 5 foot centre forward.

These are the bread-and-butter essentials that one would rightly expect a new manager to address.

We line up as a side geared to play on the break and yet we bypass the midfield and leave our wingers into dead ends.

Teams can thwart and nullify everything we have to offer simply by sitting deep or closing down our defenders.

Balls go looping into the night sky and return as pressure, the defence reels at every cross, and – above all else – we just keep on losing games.

Most of us perceive Doncaster to be dead and buried, yet their supporters speak with confidence and enthusiasm eerily similar to that of the dying breed of optimists amongst us.

There is also a lot to be taken from the perception of other team’s supporters. Coventry fans left the Ricoh annoyed that they hadn’t defeated a very poor side,

Sheffield United supporters chatting on Radcliffe Road were falling over themselves to remark on how bad we are. It is getting embarrassing.

I simply cannot understand how eleven professional footballers can be as thoroughly hopeless as we were this evening.

Had the fourth official signalled for twenty minutes of stoppage time the premature exodus would have been equally as rampant – we would have played for a month and not equalised.

Lee Camp had more possession than anybody else as clueless defenders tapped clueless back-passes in his direction.

I spent most of the game watching draconian police and stewards scratching their heads for excuses to eject people. We’ll be down to 15,000 even if we survive at the rate they’re pinching season tickets.

It is demoralising, and nothing is happening to suggest that Calderwood et al have any plan other than to wait for our luck to turn.

We have already been waiting for far too long.

Ratings: Vs Sheffield Utd [H]

Camp – 7.5 – could have perhaps done better with the goal but his early save was exceptional. His mobility coming off the line is a major asset with such a poor defence. Does it bear thinking about where we’d be if he wasn’t in the side?

Moloney – 6 – I won’t criticise too harshly a young man who is very new to senior football, but besides one or two flashes I don’t think he has got what it takes.

Wilson – 6.5 – an improvement on his recent performances.

Morgan – 8 – the only player comfortable in bringing the ball out of defence, or in handling possession at all. A big concern in itself.

Lynch – 5.5 – mostly solid but far from watertight. I don’t think he’s worth keeping.

Anderson – 6.5 – a frustrating evening, fraught with the chasing of lost causes and dead ends.

Perch – 5 – one good through ball but generally he played the pointless role to perfection, as he often does. I would be interested in learning specifically how many of his passes go astray per game – too many, that’s for certain.

Cohen – 6 – a fairly poor day at the office in my opinion, despite teeing up Earnshaw’s miss beautifully.

Tyson – 5 – the Tyson midfield experiment falls flat on its face whenever we take on a deep defence or a solid right back.

Garner – 7 – plenty of graft, won plenty of free kicks and made a nuisance of himself. Much better than on Saturday.

Earnshaw – 6 – should have scored.

Subs:

Thornhill – 6.5 – wanted possession, at least.

Davies – 5 – we are getting desperate.